Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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