Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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