Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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