You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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