Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
