i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
