WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
