well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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