just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
