people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
