She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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