Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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