dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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