Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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