just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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