and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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