You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
