She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize