I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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