forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
