You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
