Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
