she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
