Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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