So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Damn victory sex feels great
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
