What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
