plz talk dirty to me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
