tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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