pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
