i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
