Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The air was thick with penises
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
