i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's blow job season.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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