I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
