Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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