I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize