So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
