i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
