i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
