This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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