the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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