She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
