He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
