i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
