I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
