He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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