I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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