Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
