I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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