last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
