You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
