sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
