I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
