I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
