I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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