Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i think my cat just said my name.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
