I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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