I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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