Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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