dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
