From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Boobs speak an international language.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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