I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
