just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
