and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
