Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
