i was born a porn star she said
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
