i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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